New York state of mind

Amy and I drove to the New York area Thursday, and I am currently sitting at a Borders cafe in Danbury Connecticut waiting for Amy.  New York area has an interesting vibe, which attracts and repels me at the same time.  Where else can you visit three states within a half hour?  We were visiting friends in Fort Lee New Jersey, crossed the George Washington Bridge into New York, then headed north to Connecticut where her brother and mother live.

There are definitely possibilities here.  We have a lot of friends and relatives all over the place, from Manhatten to Westhampton to New Jersey to Connecticut.  Amy has work potential if she wants.  There is an active music scene (of course!).  Action action action!  So this attracts.

This area seems to really run on money.  Either you have a lot and want more, or don't have enough and want more.  People run and run and run (I thought Toronto was frenetic!  It's sleepy in comparison).  In the circles I have been moving, material concerns seem to dominate.  Of course, I know there is everything here, but this is what seems to predominate.

Upon reflection, I realize that I am moving in the other direction.  I think my favourite moments have been at brother-in-law Michael and Lisa's place outside of Stamford.  Though I wouldn't say it is totally out in the woods, for the first time in a while I experienced the healing energy of quiet, trees and birds, and a beautiful peaceful natural environment.  This is what I most crave, this is what puts me in touch with the divine energy, and this is where I most feel my soul.  Nature is the easiest way to connect to the soul.  We have been in Toronto for a while without leaving for "nature", and these few hours in "the woods" remind me of where my heart is.

So for me the trick is finding the balance between working for material and other gains, being busy trying to "accomplish", and having the time and space to be truly in the moment.  They can happen together, but I tend to get caught up in the treadmill, and after a while my mind begins the loop of "I'm not doing enough, I'm not successful enough, I don't have enough, I'm not good enough" and so on.

Do you find that too?

I know I can find the stillness in Toronto, or Manhatten or Delhi or anywhere.  I know that spirit is everywhere, always available, always present, and that I cover it up with mental energy and forget to access it wherever I am.  So this is the work I am doing on myself, to always remember to tune into that healing natural divine energy wherever I am.

Looking forward to returning to Toronto later this evening.  Also looking forward to my upcoming concert, video recording event June 5.  Also looking forward to B.C. days coming soon!  Lots of good stuff going on, and I need to remember!